He's got most of the power and very little responsibility. She's got most of the responsibility and very little power.   EMOTIONAL ABUSE Emotional abuse can include name calling, putting you down, ignoring you, always criticising what you wear, what you do and say, ignoring you. It can include a boyfriend intimidating you through his size or stories of how he has hurt other people. Some boyfriends humiliate you in front of friends and often try to get you to stop seeing friends. Boyfriends who do choose to use emotional abuse may sulk and threaten to kill themselves to get what they want or to stop you leaving them. This happens in most controlling relationships.   PHYSICAL ABUSE This can include hitting, punching, choking, pushing, slapping, pulling you around by your hair, restraining you with force, using a weapon such as a knife or gun to threaten you, driving a car dangerously, hurting someone you love or destroying your things.   SEXUAL ABUSE This is when you are forced to do something sexually that hurts you or you do not like. Your boyfriend may not actually rape you to be sexually abusive. He may get you to do things to him that you are not comfortable with but which he tells you are normal. He may call you frigid or abnormal if you refuse him and make you feel you are not being fair. He may tell you he will find someone who will do what he wants sexually.   All abuse is against the law under New Zealand Legislation. Have you or your friends had experiences like this? Tell us.