"If this is love, why do I feel so bad?" Often the first indication that there is something wrong in the way your boyfriend or partner treats you is how you feel. You feel uneasy, tense, confused, like something isn't right. Below is a list of some of the ways that girls say they felt when they were with an abusive boyfriend. Pressured Confused Angry Uncomfortable Scared Nervous or tense Humiliated Bad about yourself Trapped Restricted or controlled (like you have to watch what you do or say) Upset Listening to your feelings is important. Think about how you feel when you are with your boyfriend. Do you feel any of these things when you are with him? Abuse can have an effect on you in all sorts of ways, such as Not sleeping properly Nausea or headaches Abusing alcohol or drugs Anxiety or depression Missing classes, wagging school or taking days off work Lower marks at school or Uni Constantly trying to do what he wants Not communicating with your parents or family, or lying to them because they might blame you somehow or stop you from going out Feeling like you can't trust people Losing touch with who you are and what is important to you, your own opinions, feelings, friends, family Having less confidence in yourself Feeling alone and afraid to tell anyone Someone who loves you should help you to feel good about yourself. No-one has the right to abuse you and make you feel so bad or confused. Have you or your friends had experiences like this? Tell us. Supplied courtesy of: The Domestic Violence & Incest Resource Centre (DVIRC) Melbourne, Australia. (c) 1998, When Love Hurts website.