Men have choices Not all men who use disrespectful behaviour will be cruel all the time. Some men believe they are entitled to more than you are but show they are willing to change these ideas. Why men feel entitled. Men have choice about being disrespectful or abusive. Most of them wouldn't be as disrespectful to their boss or they would lose their jobs. They do have control over this behaviour. Low self-esteem and childhood hurts are not good enough reasons for being disrespectful. The majority of women who have been abused, as children and may lack confidence in some areas, do not abuse their partners and children. So why do men? Frequently women who have been hurt as children, need to develop strengths and abilities in order to cope in hard situations. Mostly they choose not to abuse. Disrespect is not automatically passed on from their father. Many men who have been hurt as children choose not to hurt others. Many men who have never been hurt as children choose to hurt their girlfriend/partner and children as adults. Alcohol does not make men be disrespectful. Our women found that if their partners were drunk and were yelling at them they stopped if someone came to the door or walked into the room. Men can control themselves. If your boyfriend has drunk alcohol or taken drugs and has a pattern of hurting you arrange other transport to take yourself home. Disrespectful or abusive boyfriends may use a car dangerously in order to frighten you. Alcohol can affect their judgement about how hard they are physically hurting you and they may do more damage than they had planned. This is similar to the effects of drinking and driving, where judgement is impaired. Men can change. Our women found that to get them back into the relationship their partners changed in the short-term. However, after they had been back a while the old behaviour of wanting their needs met first started again. Have you or your friends had experiences like this? Tell us.