It is against the law in New Zealand to psychologically, physically or sexually abuse a partner. A New Zealand police guide to Protection Orders & the Domestic Violence Act states the following: PHYSICAL ABUSE Nobody, including a husband, wife, partner, or an adult who looks after children, has the right to hit, punch, kick or in any way assault another person. SEXUAL ABUSE Nobody is allowed to have any sexual contact with another person without permission. PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE This includes intimidation, threats and mind games. Below are just a few things that the Family Court recognises as psychological abuse: Damaging property as a way of hurting someone. Making threats, such as "If you leave, I'll kill you", "do that again and I'll give you a hiding", "Tell the Police and I'll beat up the kids". Allowing a child to see or hear any domestic violence. Trying to control someone's life by constantly humiliating them. Controlling someone's money, time, car or contact with friends as a way of having power over them. CONTACT THE POLICE IN ALL LIFE-THREATING SITUATIONS ON 111 PROTECTION ORDERS If you ever find yourself in a relationship or situation where any of the above abuse is happening you can apply for a protection order. A protection order makes it illegal for your partner, friend or family member to continue to abuse you. If the abuse continues the perpetrator will be fined, recommended to a group for non-violence for re-education, or jailed. It is very important that if you have a protection order and it is breached that you ring the Police on 111. THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT PROTECTION ORDERS A protection order applies whether you want to be separate or are still living or seeing the abusive partner. Many people do use protection orders when they don't want the person to contact or come near them again. Others who feel unable to leave an abusive man use them to protect themselves within their home. Others use them so a family member or ex-partner cannot abuse them if they are both at social gatherings or work. To apply for a protection order you need to see a lawyer. Many people cannot afford lawyers and have the following options; going to a free legal aid clinic at the one of the women centres or contacting your local women's refuge for further information. North Shore Women's Refuge 09-410 6736 Legal Aid is available to all New Zealand residents who do not have enough money to get legal representation in order to obtain a protection order. However recent changes to legislation mean that you have less legal time allocated to you. This makes it very difficult to obtain a good affidavit before your time runs out. Therefore, contact you local refuge, such as the North Shore Women's Refuge and they will assist you prepare your affidavit for the lawyer. This way your Legal Aid time is used more effectively. A protection order will be applied for by your lawyer in the Family Court. The Family Court, unlike the main court, is confidential. This means your application for protection cannot be publicised or known outside the court. One of the most important points to remember about getting a protection order is getting the right lawyer. Always ring your local refuge and ask them to give you a list of experienced family court lawyers. Have you or your friends had experiences like this? Tell us.